Wing and a prayer
In the “you probably missed it” file last week was the story of the incident at Kathmandu Airport. The folks at Nepal Airlines, in an attempt to put an end to a series of technical problems with a Boeing 757 aircraft, apparently went so far as to sacrifice a pair of goats to a local deity. And then, we hope, completed repairs on the plane.
Are you listening, Jet Blue?
In recent times, the performance of airlines around the world and here in the states have ranged between lousy and “Wright Brothers? What Wright Brothers?” Jet Blue and Detroit's Northwest Airlines have been particularly bad about on-time flights, and there was a day recently at London's Heathrow Airport where 100 percent of the days flights were late — there's nothing like British consistency. So if an airline with only a handful of planes goes so far as to seek spiritual help to exorcize the gremlins that plague its performance, I'm thinking maybe a few of these other airlines might want to give it a try.
Whether it requires the use of Baptist preachers, native shamans, witches, devil worshippers or Paris Hilton, the traveling public would appreciate any effort to get planes off the ground more efficiently.
Some of you think it won't work. It's all that science stuff, right? Keeping planes running is all about nuts and bolts, sheet metal and electronical thingamabobs. On the other hand, “gremlin” is a name used in the airplane industry as a description of unusual and unexplainable malfunctions and breakdowns. Unexplainable and unusual? Isn't that exactly the sort of thing deities are supposed to handle? According to the Nepalese, they had already tried the usual mechanical fixes before they went to the goat pen, and whether the spiritual fix worked is too early to tell, but it is certainly worth a try ... isn't it?
The real question is, why goats? Wouldn't a sky deity want something with wings? Eagles and condors are endangered, but how about pigeons? Or maybe the seemingly ubiquitous Canada Geese that constantly plop all over the walkways surrounding local ponds? On the other hand, maybe the goats are animals of local significance. The Dallas airport would use cattle, while Chicago (hog butcher to the world) would use pigs or politicians (redundant), and Miami would use gators. Columbus would sacrifice Wolverines (oh, that's right, they already do).
Maybe a little divine intervention is just what all these airlines need. Northwest might become Hallelujah Airlines, with a new slogan: “We're praying you get there on time.”
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By: Jim Ellis
letters@toledofreepress.com
Source: http://www.toledofreepress.com
In the “you probably missed it” file last week was the story of the incident at Kathmandu Airport. The folks at Nepal Airlines, in an attempt to put an end to a series of technical problems with a Boeing 757 aircraft, apparently went so far as to sacrifice a pair of goats to a local deity. And then, we hope, completed repairs on the plane.
Are you listening, Jet Blue?
In recent times, the performance of airlines around the world and here in the states have ranged between lousy and “Wright Brothers? What Wright Brothers?” Jet Blue and Detroit's Northwest Airlines have been particularly bad about on-time flights, and there was a day recently at London's Heathrow Airport where 100 percent of the days flights were late — there's nothing like British consistency. So if an airline with only a handful of planes goes so far as to seek spiritual help to exorcize the gremlins that plague its performance, I'm thinking maybe a few of these other airlines might want to give it a try.
Whether it requires the use of Baptist preachers, native shamans, witches, devil worshippers or Paris Hilton, the traveling public would appreciate any effort to get planes off the ground more efficiently.
Some of you think it won't work. It's all that science stuff, right? Keeping planes running is all about nuts and bolts, sheet metal and electronical thingamabobs. On the other hand, “gremlin” is a name used in the airplane industry as a description of unusual and unexplainable malfunctions and breakdowns. Unexplainable and unusual? Isn't that exactly the sort of thing deities are supposed to handle? According to the Nepalese, they had already tried the usual mechanical fixes before they went to the goat pen, and whether the spiritual fix worked is too early to tell, but it is certainly worth a try ... isn't it?
The real question is, why goats? Wouldn't a sky deity want something with wings? Eagles and condors are endangered, but how about pigeons? Or maybe the seemingly ubiquitous Canada Geese that constantly plop all over the walkways surrounding local ponds? On the other hand, maybe the goats are animals of local significance. The Dallas airport would use cattle, while Chicago (hog butcher to the world) would use pigs or politicians (redundant), and Miami would use gators. Columbus would sacrifice Wolverines (oh, that's right, they already do).
Maybe a little divine intervention is just what all these airlines need. Northwest might become Hallelujah Airlines, with a new slogan: “We're praying you get there on time.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------
By: Jim Ellis
letters@toledofreepress.com
Source: http://www.toledofreepress.com
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